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Report: $14 Trillion Spent Annually On Trying To Look Cool | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

More hilarity from The Onion.

“The whole thing ends up being a vicious cycle,” Thorson said. “The only way this situation will ever be remedied is if people just relax and try to be themselves, you know? I mean, that’s cool, man.”

Added Thorson, “Right?”

Thorson said his current research indicates that true coolness may in fact come from not caring what other people think—a finding he hopes to submit to his peers for review before publishing it in a journal admired by students and colleagues alike.